A HYDE father has encouraged people aged more than 60 to seek mental health support after receiving life-changing help.
Michael Bates sought out NHS Tameside and Glossop Talking Therapies, run by Pennine Care NHS Foundation Trust, after childhood trauma led to nightmares, flashbacks, poor sleep and intense feelings of isolation.
Growing up in the 1970s, he experienced neglect and domestic abuse at home and says, at the time, children were often not believed when they asked for help.
For many years, Michael kept his feelings buried while building a happy family life with his wife and daughter.
However, as his child grew older and life pressures increased, suppressed memories and emotions resurfaced.
A turning point came when a difficult experience at work left Michael feeling unheard and overwhelmed.
One day, while driving, he realised just how much he was struggling when he imagined purposely crashing into a tree to avoid going into work.
The 63-year-old did not find it easy to talk about his mental health, something he feels is common for men of an older generation.
But now he has done so, he is urging others to seek help.
Michael said: “It was a truly different world then.
“We still had corporal punishment at school, which meant teachers could openly beat and humiliate us in class.
“I would often come home bruised and sore. There was so much violence around me. I grew up looking at teachers, police officers, and other responsible adults in fear.
“I’d told myself from a very young age that I would become everything my stepfather wasn’t.
“It was so important to me to give my daughter the childhood she deserved – the childhood that I wished I could have had.
“I loved being a husband and father and experiencing a healthy family life for the first time, it felt like I’d been able to heal a part of myself by living through them.
“Men didn’t talk about their feelings when I was growing up. The voice in your head tells you to just get on with it.
“I’d told my wife a few stories from my childhood, but I never went into any real detail about what had happened to me. It was a huge weight on my shoulders every day.”
Speaking about his experience at work, he added: “It took me right back to being a child again. I felt small and powerless. It brought it all back to me.
“Suddenly I was spiralling and everything around me was a reminder of the dark things I’d been through. I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
“I scared myself that day. It was a true wake-up call, I knew I needed help.”
Michael spoke with his GP and was referred to NHS Tameside and Glossop Talking Therapies.
He met with Kathryn Andrew, cognitive behavioural therapist, who helped him understand and process his trauma at his own pace.
Michael continued: “Kathryn made me feel really comfortable. She was such a kind and understanding listener.
“She gave me the tools to face my traumas in a much healthier way. I was able to change my mindset and take away the guilt I’d put on myself – I accepted I wasn’t to blame for what had happened to me.
“Thanks to Kathryn, I’ve been able to come through to the other side and feel more alive than I have for decades.
“I no longer have that weight over me or feel like I have to prove myself to be worthy anymore.”
Kathryn explained what someone can expect from the therapy process, saying: “For post-traumatic stress disorder, therapy usually starts with gently talking about what someone is experiencing now and what has happened in their past.
“Together, we create a simple picture to understand triggers, thoughts, feelings, body reactions and behaviours.
“We teach calming techniques and explain how trauma affects the brain, then slowly work through traumatic memories in a safe, supportive way. At the end, we look back on progress and what has been learned.”
Michael hopes to use his experience to help others and encourage people, particularly those from his generation, to seek support.
He explained: “I feel so inspired to help people. I want them to know they’re not alone and help is available.
“I’ll be looking at volunteering and exploring ways I can make a positive difference to people’s lives – the way that Kathryn has for me.
“If you had a broken arm, you’d go to hospital. A broken mind is no different.
“Everyone needs help sometimes and letting it out is the best feeling in the world. Just remember it’s never too late to change your life.”
Kathryn added: “Working with people like Michael is what makes my job so meaningful. It’s a real privilege to be trusted with people’s most painful experiences, and I never underestimate the courage it takes to come to therapy.
“Seeing Michael’s progress and knowing how that will shape his future and family life is the reason why this work matters so much.
“I’d encourage anyone who is experiencing mental health difficulties to come forward and seek help.”
NHS Talking Therapies offer support and treatment for a range of issues including low mood, stress, worry or anxiety, difficulty sleeping, feelings of low self-worth, panic attacks, phobias and more.
People aged 16 years and above, registered with a GP in Tameside and Glossop, can refer themselves by completing an online form at www.penninecare.nhs.uk/tamesidetalk.
They can also be referred by their GP or another health professional.